disappointment and the kitchen sink! But I am going to stay positive!

My mother died almost and year ago in May and my father died 2 years ago in May. The died a year apart from each other. Which I find kinda fun since they had not seen each other in over 3 or  years. They did not raise my brother and myself my moms parents did. My grandfather died back in 1997 along time ago and I still miss him everyday and even more now that I have kids.

Grandpa and Me

 My grandmother is still alive and doing well on her own for the most part. I wish I could help her so much more than I do but its so hard with kids. Anyways now that I am having this surgery on Friday. I am kinda disappointed in how my family is handling it. I was surprised on how much that has affected me these past few days. No one is acting any different then how Ken and I thought they would act. Still dysfunction really hurts no matter how much therapy you have had. We explained to them that for ken to help me for the 3 weeks the doctor gave him a note for he is required by CVS to take a Family Leave. Which if he does he will not give paid for the first 2 weeks! We can't afford to do that. I am already missing 2 or 3 weeks of work and I don't get leave or vacation. My grandma said she can help if we leave one of the kids with her. There is no way that is going to happen she is 92 years old and my kids are hyper. She would be to worn out by the end of the day she would need a week to recover! My aunt (who has never given birth or had a c-section or even a hysterectomy for that matter) told me that I would be fine after a few days and said just do everything on the floor with the kids. I almost punched her. After I had my c-section with Michael the day after I got out of the hospital which was Halloween , I got on the floor to help Kaylee put on her costume and it took me over 10 minutes to get off the floor even with Ken and my brothers help. Ken's parents are a little more sympathetic but not by much. They are more concerned about his job and that he keeps his boss happy and that I need suck it up and deal because his job is important. Yes his job is important but they are not going to fire him over this.
Ugg. I just hoped/thought my family would be different. Maybe they are in denial or the are just scared. I expecting some to step up and act as my parents. But that wont happen because my parents sucked and I have to move on from that. I think that is the little kid in me that has not completely healed from everything that happen when I was a child. I know that God is always with me and as Kaylee says "God is in your skin and is always  with you no matter what!" I love that kid.
Ken is so awesome, supportive and encouraging. I also have some truly great people/friends in my life that are going to help me and see me through this. My MOPS group is going to do a meal sign up and bring us dinner on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays for the first 3 weeks! Friday of my surgery my friend Michelle is taking Kaylee all day to do some fun stuff while I have had several people volunteer to come to my house in shifts to take care of Michael (who is a handful). I am amazed at the amount of love that surrounds me. I am truly blessed and lucky to have so much.
Today has also been a very stressful day. We found a major leak this morning coming from our kitchen sink! I am sure it is going to take several days to fix. It has been extremely hard to get a hold of our landlord and their handyman. Now the handyman wants to talk with them before he  starts the work because of how big of a job it is.  So I hand no sink all day and with little kids that is hard. With Michael been so sensitive to milk I was stuff all day long and he still is on a bottle. it is just going to be harder for a while. I am not sure how this is going to work with people watching Michael on Friday and there is going to be people working in the kitchen and there been no water. But we will worry about that then. Maybe it will all work out and it will be done by then!
My goal all week is to try to turn all my disappointment and frustration around and remind myself of all the good and joy that I have in my life and that's all around me. focus on the good all around me and not the bad. There is so much beauty I just have to take the time to see and hear it. So I took the kids outside in the rain and they loved it.