Health Insurance, Michael and thinking about Grandpa Guetschow

This last few weeks I have been really tired. Michael is doing better about not needing us to go in his room when he wakes in the middle of the night but I still hear him in there complaining or moaning. I am so happy that he can put himself back to sleep most nights! I have 2 more days of treatment and new medications and then I have a break for a month as we switch over all our health care to new doctors. I will have to see be seen and re-evaluated by my new doctors before we do any other medications as well as a few tests and blood work YUCK! I think I found my new primary care doctor. I meet him in 2 weeks so I hope it goes well. It just all takes so much time. I am feeling scared about not being with Kaiser any more. Not so much because I love my doctors but I have been with them since I was a teenager and it feels safe. But I am willing to change. Its just hard.

Michael has had a hard 2 weeks and it is not letting up yet. I think he is having a growth spurt and he is hungry all the time and will only eat Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches, Hot dogs, Broccoli, pasta and a few fruits. He seems to get overly stimulated really easy these days and will go crazy. It wears me out. He is always crashing into something or rolling around on toys and jumping off things. I am afraid he is going to get really hurt but so far so good. He is starting to hit and push Kaylee really hard and it hurts her. I am not sure how we can brake him of this but we are working on it.

On Tuesday we went swimming at my in-laws house and it was so much fun. We swam for almost 2 hours. Then had dinner there. The kids had the best time there. I am so happy that they both like the water. I need to get Michael into swim lessons soon. Kaylee is pretty good but still needs a few more lessons. I am looking forward to a lot of swimming this year!

I have a job interview today and I am excited and scared all at once. I am happy to have this chance though and if does not work with what I am looking for then I will move on. I am kinda excited it get out of the house though. I think anything that gets me out of the house is good. I have a few other ideas if this job does not work out.

Last night grandma invited us over for dinner and we had steaks. Ken BBQ them. They were so good but it got me think about grandpa and the night before he died we had steaks for dinner. It was Grandma, Grandpa, Lewis and I. It was a wonderful dinner and he talked to all of us so nicely. He told me I was beautiful and that Lewis was so smart. It was like he was saying his goodbye. After dinner he went to bed and did not talk again and died 4 days later with me and mom by his side. I really do miss him. This July it has been 20 years since he passed away. Crazy! So much has happened in those 20 years. There is so much I wanted him to be part of. Grandma says she mad at him for missing all these little great-grandkids running around the house. I just wish he could have been here for her these last 20 years. I can't imagine my life without Ken for a month, 20 years would hurt so bad. Strange how I think of grandpa more as a father than my own dad. Grandpa spent the most time teaching Lewis and I about gardening and always always took care of us. I also love listening to him sing. I still play his music for the kids and I love hearing them sing along with him.

April 1982 Dennis and Pam's wedding.

Grandma and Grandpa's Backyard 1983

2 of my favorite pictures of me with him. I have photos of when I was older but these will always be my favorite. His birthday is on May 28th. I always have sweet corn for dinner to honor him as well as we eat popcorn for snacks all day long. His favorite foods.

May has always been a hard month emotionally for me. So much has happened for me in May and it brings up a lot of hard memories and old emotions. I guess that it is fitting that both my parents died in May. I am going out to lunch with someone that I have not seen in a very long time next week. Almost 16 years! Crazy how time flies by. I am trying to plan a lot of fun things this week and next to help make the rest of this month Sunday swimming at my in-laws after nap time. And so much more.